Ten years

Ten years ago to this date, we had the following news:

1. The New Nation (Bangladesh) 26July2003
 "Reports from Faridpur said at least six persons died, 20 others injured in a road accident at Chandipur on Dhaka-Khulna highway on Thursday night (24July). Police and Fire Fighting sources said the driver of the Dhaka-bound night coach lost its control and fell into the ditch leaving six of its passengers dead.
Five of the victims were identified as Jwel (35), a Philippino national, the bus driver Hashem (45), Mianr (32), Nazrul Islam (40), Enamul Haq Munshi (35) and the rest one person is yet to be identified. Kotwali police sources said the Philippino national Jwel was a consultant of a Shrimp farm in Khulna-Satkhira area.
The injured passengers were taken to the Faridpur Medical College Hospital. A case was filed with Kotwali police in this connection."

2. Sify News (Bangladesh) 26 July 2003
"Seven killed in B'desh bus accident
Saturday, 26 July , 2003, 06:03
Dhaka: At least seven people, including a Filipino, were killed and 40 people hurt on Friday when a passenger bus crashed on a highway in southwestern Bangladesh, officials said. The overnight bus was heading to the capital Dhaka from the southwestern city of Khulna when it skidded into a ditch in the Faripur district, said an official of the Sohag Paribahan transport company. He said one of the dead was a Filipino Muslim working in Bangladesh who had given his name as Jewel when he bought his bus ticket in Khulna."

3. Sun Star (Philippines) 26July 2003
"7 killed, including Filipino, in Bangladesh bus accident
DHAKA -- At least seven people, including a Filipino, were killed and 40
people hurt Friday when a passenger bus crashed on a highway in
southwestern Bangladesh, officials said.
The overnight bus was heading to the capital Dhaka from the
southwestern city of Khulna when it skidded into a ditch in the Faripur
district, said an official of the Sohag Paribahan transport company.
He said one of the dead was a Filipino Muslim working in Bangladesh
who had given his name as Jewel when he bought his bus ticket in
Khulna. AFP"

These are all the info we had and many questions still remain unanswered. I should have visited the place ten years ago and gather all the details I need. The reason why I haven't was probably because of time and money constraints back then. I probably have the money now and should be able to do it as soon I have a bit of slack in our work comes next summer. I just hope I won't ran out of time.

Right to bear arms

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

If all men are created equal with the same rights...
... and Americans (A) have the right to bear arms (A=C),
... and since Filipinos (B) are not animals nor plants but belong to the group called "men" (A=B),
then we Filipinos have also the right to bear arms (B=C)!

Simply put, since A=B and A=C, then B=C.

Furthermore, since the Philippine Constitution is based from the American, then whatever right is enshrined in the former must, by logic, be also inherent in the latter.
Otherwise, the premise of equality will not hold, and A will not be equal B.

Agnosticism and secularism

"When I reached intellectual maturity and began to ask myself whether I was an atheist, a theist, or a pantheist; a materialist or an idealist; Christian or a freethinker; I found that the more I learned and reflected, the less ready was the answer; until, at last, I came to the conclusion that I had neither art nor part with any of these denominations, except the last. The one thing in which most of these good people were agreed was the one thing in which I differed from them. They were quite sure they had attained a certain "gnosis,"–had, more or less successfully, solved the problem of existence; while I was quite sure I had not, and had a pretty strong conviction that the problem was insoluble. And, with Hume and Kant on my side, I could not think myself presumptuous in holding fast by that opinion. [...]. So I took thought, and invented what I conceived to be the appropriate title of "agnostic." It came into my head as suggestively antithetic to the "gnostic" of Church history, who professed to know so much about the very things of which I was ignorant. […] To my great satisfaction the term took."
                                                                                                       -  T.H. Huxley (1893) - 
                           ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By Huxley's simple definition of the word, I am an agnostic. I am not a Christian (Catholic or Protestant) nor an atheist. Agnostic - just that. 

On the politics, I strongly advocate secularism. All activities and  initiatives of government shall be devoid of any religious consideration. That's why I strongly oppose giving autonomy to Muslims in Mindanao and the creation of ARMM. Every Filipino citizen, Muslim or  Christian, must be governed only by a single uniform legal and judicial system. The Muslims should not be allowed to impose Sharia on anybody (even on Muslims themselves)  just as the Christians are not allowed to impose the Laws of Moses in any Christian in this country.

Being alone

It seems to me, nothing scares most people more than loneliness - being alone. Being alone with your life, your thoughts and your beliefs - it's so scary to some that they tend to compromise/change/sacrifice their beliefs, their inclinations, their likes and dislikes just to be accepted by somebody or by a group of people to whom they wanted to maintain company. This is probably why most wanted to have and maintain a relationship, a family or a religion. Nobody wanted to live alone, eat alone, worship alone.

For me however, being alone once in a while is a bit of a necessity. No matter how much work I have on my plate, I usually take time to be put everything behind. This is probably how I seemed to rise above the daily grind of work (people think I'm so stressed with my work, but I'm not). It's kind like a morbid game I play starting with this: I just died. I assume I'm dead and I'm just now a spirit. Now that's funny because I don't believe in spirit, soul or ghost. But it's just a game anyway so here I am, a consciousness without a physical attribute. Thus, I can't pick-up that laptop nor that book  and of course, not even my iPod. With a situation like that, you have nothing to do but observe and think.

It was during one of those games that I realized that that most important thing a dead man can leave behind to those he really cared about is not wealth but ideas - his beliefs and the lessons he has learned in life. Of course, money would be very important to the young people who are just starting to build their lives. You need  money to educate yourself and get that necessary credentials to make a living. But beyond that is pure luxury which will not help make you a better person - and that's an understatement. I've seen too many children (and spouses) destroyed by the wealth they have inherited or about to inherit from their parents/spouse. I've seen it in my neighbors and even in my uncles. Would it be possible for Raul Songalia to be wealthier now had he not had an hacienda to inherit from his parents? Could the lives of Tio Guily and Tio Esen be even better if they don't have Lolo's fishpond to fall back on? They could have been like me many years ago - doing my best to find a job, any job and never wanting to lose my job - never wanting to return home because there was nothing for me to return to.

This idea that inherited wealth is destructive to person came to me while I was being alone - observing, ruminating on the events that I have witnessed. That's why it helps to be alone from time to time.

Iniquity of the fathers

Exodus 20:5: ...for I the LORD your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me.

I am an agnostic but if this God exists, I will tell this to him:
Sorry Mr. God, I do not negotiate with terrorists.You screwed on the Creation thing that's why we have earthquakes and tsunamis and floods and droughts and volcanic eruptions! The body of the man you created is inherently flawed, can fail by itself and open to attacks by the viruses and other microorganisms you created.
Jealous? Punishing the children for the sins of their fathers? Have you not heard about this thing called Justice? For Christ's sake grow up!

That's why agnosticism is, to borrow a word from believers, a blessing. If the existence of an evil creator or supreme being cannot be proven, then there is nothing for me to despise. I can live with equanimity knowing that everything happens by chance and we all have to live our lives as we find it, rejoice in our victories and mourn our defeats and misfortunes until the day we die.

Neil

My daughter's wish

My daughter just published a poem in her blog today. It contains her wishes and hopes that things would not be   the way they are. With her permission, here it is:


I wish
(by Natasha Luna)


I wish life was full of laughter
So happy,very happy
But nasty people wreck it
They stomp it, hurt it, made it into sadness.
They are damaging it
People dont care


I wish life was full of smiles
that light up the way to a good place
If it wasn’t for people who made it frown
People are now sad and down
I wish those people never existed


I wish life was full of kindness and sincerity
no bullies, no criticism, no black-mailing,no two faced people
No people that say mean things are good
No people to harm you


I just wanted a kind world
where people have positive attitude
where people have smile
where people experience happiness
where people doesnt know any bad things
and where people are safe


If anyone could understand this message
This is the message that people want to tell you
a message that has meaning to it
People dont want negative but want a positive life
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Equanimity

There is only one last thing that I would like to have before I die. If I can have that, I am sure that I will be happy and contented for the rest of my life. No, it's not a high-powered sniper rifle (I already have it:) or a yacht (I do not have the time anymore to use it if I have one) or to become the dictator of the Philippines. All I need, I realized,  is just EQUANIMITY.

As sure as the sun rises every single day, good news and/or bad news in varying magnitudes will come to me. If I do not have this equanimity to deal with them, I will be like a cork  bobbing on the waves. I do not want to be a cork - I want to be that boulder in the beach. The boulder is not completely immobile - it will may shudder, topple or break when the strongest storm wave hits it. But it's not like the cork who dances and floats around like crazy. Sure, the life of a cork is definitely more exciting than that of a boulder. The cork floats around, dancing with joy as the waves lift it up and shuddering in fear and screaming when submerged or smashed against other debris.

If I can have equanimity, I will still have ambitions and still would want to work harder to achieve them. But the excitements and anxieties will be drastically reduced. I can stare God in the face and say "Bring it on, you miserable, egoistic and narcissistic being!" He can do to me what He has done to poor Job (or worse, kill me) and I can tell him, "You're sick, why don't you spend your unlimited time Creating and doing something significant rather than toying around with a passing speck of dust like me?".

If I can only have equanimity, God will learn to respect me - and that is all I wanted from him.

Nasudnong Awit

Nasudnong Awit


Yutang tabunon
Mutya nga masilakon
Putling bahandi
Amo kang gimahal.


Mithing gisimba
Yuta s' mga bayani
Sa manglulupig
Among panalipdan


Ang mga bungtod mo ug lapyahan
Ang langit mong bughaw
Nagahulad sa awit, lamdag sa
Kaliwat tang gawas.


Silaw sa adlaw ug bitoon
Sa nasudnong bandila
Nagatimaan nga buhion ta
Hugpong nga di maluba


Yutang maanyag, duyan ka sa pagmahal
Landong sa langit ang dughan mo;
Pakatam-ison sa anak mong nagtukaw
Kon mamatay man sa ngalan mo!

Born this way

And the LORD God said, "The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever."
                                                                                                         - Genesis 3: 22 (NIV) -


The Lord God said it himself - I am capable of knowing both good and evil and I was born this way. Now as to the tree of life, He can take it and shove it some place warm and tight - I do not want to live forever!

Reading

I learned to read when I was five. The problem is there wasn't a lot of reading materials in the house which, by today's standard, suitable for a child my age.  I read whatever I can get hold of - Bisaya magazines, newspapers, etc.
Unlike the kids of today, I did not went through prep and kinder. I went straight to Grade 1. School was very exciting at first. I remember there was this thick Cebuano book which Mrs. Ybanez (my teacher) lent me and I finished reading it within a few days. After that, I found the Grade1 class so boring that my mother has to drag me back to the classroom. They should have promoted me to Grade 2. Instead my teacher made me tutor for the slow learners to keep me from fooling around, while the rest of the class was learning ba-be-bi-bo-bu. Maybe the teachers back then are so ignorant (or simply unconcerned) of how miserable I was being made to do the job which should have been done by my teacher.  It was of course, a public school and my classmates were not the kids of parents who know better than my teacher.

I simply loved reading. During my free time, when I was not made to do household  chore, I always escape into my grandparents house nearby where Lolo Pacio has a cabinet full of Reader's Digest old issues(1960's to 1970's). I think it was the easy format of RD which made me love reading. The articles were (and still are) short and stories are narrated with minimal effort to the young reader. It effectively introduced me to book stories which are condensed in a few pages. We had no TV at that time and my mother discouraged me from playing with neighbors - it's all work for me. Reading became a respite and opened me to new worlds, new ideas.

During high school and college, I spent most of my spare time in the libraries. Encyclopedias, magazines, books on literature, biographies, philosophy, politics, etc. It simply amazed me how ideas from people who have died (some hundreds of years ago) can be conveyed to us by such a very simple device - book. Forget God and his heaven, this is the real immortality - dead people speaking/arguing from their graves - Plato, Darwin, Adam Smith, Karl Marx, Machiavelli, Veblen, etc. Simply amazing!

I don't think I am a talented individual. If I was, I would have excelled in literature, academics, sports or other activities. I simply loved reading and leveraged the knowledge and information I gained from it to get what I wanted.  Knowledge is absolute power and nothing can be as priceless as a piece of information that is known and understandable only to a few individual.

Why do I love reading? I don't know. The closest explanation could be because I am an introvert and a bit anti-social to boot. Reading is an activity that effectively shuts off social interaction. Don't get me wrong, I hate being an introvert and anti social tendencies should be discouraged from young people. But it's my nature and sometimes, I can't help it.  Reading a book excuses me from talking to the people nearby. It educates you on human nature without having to interact with humans. Reading makes you understand the general qualities of man/mankind without being distracted by those of individuals close to you. Most of the people close to me are friendly, fair and mild mannered but I know people can be violent, unjust and vicious. Most of the leaders I knew are seemingly friendly and altruistic - but Machiavelli said otherwise and I believed him.

The present is a paradise for all those who love reading. Most of the written works are digitized and finding a book/piece of literature has never been easier and cheaper. Now, you don't have to go to the library or  bookstore to read the book you wanted to read. Everything is in the internet and can be extracted in a text or voice format (ebook or audiobook). Reading (or listening to books being read to you) is just a click away.

This is the reason why I provided my daughter (and those dear to me) with devices which I believe will enhance her capability to read and gather information crucial to her life and her future. Some people simply call these "gadgets" - laptop, iPad, iPod, smartphone. To me these gadgets are today's electronic libraries. If my daughter is not smart enough to realize the REAL uses of these devices and the value of reading, then she has nothing to blame but herself.  I have provided her what I believed to be the most important tools/facility she can have at the most important period of her life. It's not wealth/money - it's information and the ability to access it by READING. A father can only help up to a certain point.

Trad thinking

Nothing draws me faster into an argument than hearing people imposing their trad (traditional) thinking on me.  Trad thinkers are people who expects other people to do things simply because everyone else is (and has been) doing it. Their reason is, you should be like this or do something like this because (in their narrow perception) that's the way things are. No reasoning, no application of logic, not even a cursory investigation if such practice is reasonable or even just.

Here are such examples:
1. Trad think: You should not fold your pants. You (Neil) are the only one in the world doing it and it looks funny. Now, I do fold my pants for the practical reason that a waving part of garment near my feet are likely to be snagged to something and sometimes reach the ground. Pants you bought of the shelf are naturally long because they are designed for the ones with the longer legs - those with shorter legs can just have it trimmed by a tailor.
2. Trad think: You should be driving something a brand new SUV not that old pickup because that's what people in your position are driving. Oh yeah? But I do need a pick-up because I sometimes carry pipes and heavy cargoes. How would you fit a 4" X 3m steel segment inside an SUV or a goat that I carry from my farm? By the way, although my pickup is more than six years old, it is still presentable and in good condition.
3. Trad think: You should get married and have children. And what make's you think that doing so will increase my current level of happiness, I retorted? Well, (trad thinker replied) it is the right thing to do! And why is it the right thing to do, I persisted. And we drifted towards a heated argument about religion and morality where I soundly defeated the trad thinker. What a self-righteous prig!

more trad thinks to follow...

Mt. Kalawitan

25-26Feb2012 - I climbed it. Within this beauty, the sight is worth everything - the hours in the bus and the jeepney, the sweat, the cramps and the throbbing muscle pains! Where shall I start? :)

The trouble with hello

My daughter's visit after more than 2 years.
Arrival: 4am, 11Dec2011 (her 14th birthday)
Departure: 8am,  23Jan2012 (43 days later)
Next visit:  ? years from now

Nat's departure for NZ (23Jan2012)

For those who know me, this picture is worth a thousand words.

Goodbye Santa Claus

Call me a scrooge, but after experiencing more than 40 Christmases  and hearing/reading people's stories and opinions about it, I can say this Christian event is grossly overrated. Actually Christmas is originally not a Christian tradition. It is a pagan celebration called Saturnalia adopted by Emperor Constantine to encourage most people to adopt the new imperial religion. The birth of Jesus cannot be around the winter months since sheeps don't graze outside around that time. Go visit Palestine/Israel on December and experience the bitter winter around this time. Besides, the early Christians do not celebrate Christmas - it was Constantine who invented (adopted) it for Christianity.

What about the commercial aspect of Christmas - this gift giving? It's actually a Saturnalian practice also. However, the Romans those days gave only inexpensive gifts (mostly potteries and wax figures) since gift of value would mark social status and that would be contrary to the spririt than the season. Now that's something to think about. Try giving inexpensive gifts these days and they will most likely end up in the trash can.

I don't celebrate Christmas anymore not because I'm not a Christian ( hell, I will celebrate a Muslim or Hindu holiday if I choose to) but because I can afford not to. My daughter is hardly a child anymore and as much as she wish for a christmas tree and other decors these days (and although I am very much inclined to humour her on that), I don't think they're worth the cost and time to put up.

So goodbye Santa Claus and the three kings (and sorry Mr. Sy we can't have more transactions) for now. They say, Christmas is for the children and I dare not disagree with that because I've been a child too. If I will have a new child to please in the future I may come to resurrect you and I will await and celebrate Christmas more eagerly and extravagantly like the Romans did during Saturnalia. But for now, this thing called Christmas is something that I will comfortably choose not to celebrate. Some people (especially the flood victims lately) were not able to celebrate Christmas because thay can't afford to. I don't celebrate it because I can afford not to. Lucky guy :).

A bull in a china shop

Sometimes I could be a bull in a china shop. I can be too frank and brutal for my own good. I am not proud of it but like the scorpion who bit the frog he was riding while crossing the stream "I am a scorpion, I can't help it!" (They both drowned, by the way). That's a cause for concern especially if you live in a culture like ours where a lot of people harbors beliefs they simply inherited from their forebears  without giving it the benefit of thinking why they are adopting it. Most of our beliefs are inherited - not a result of critical thinking (If you do that in business, you will be broke in less than a year). And if you are somebody who needs to put a reason for believing on something and then proceeds to speak your mind, you end of like me - a bull in a china shop.

As I've said this is me and I have the right to be this way. If you don't think so, try reading more books especially those concerning freedom, liberty, justice, etc. Not everything is found in the bible, pastor.

Some people tend to forget that there is such thing as individual freedom. To be what you want to be, to have your own set of beliefs and to express your opinions on anything - so long as you do not transgress the freedom of others. You are a believer and I am not, does that make me less human than you? Does that make me an enemy? It probably would if you are a rabid religious fundamentalist. If so, then I couldn't care less for you. Fundamentalism and fanaticism is anathema to individual freedom and people who adhere to them should not live in libertarian society. This might be a third world country with the ordinary people ignorant about secular ideas but that doesn't mean that I have to tread carefully so as not to offend some feelings. Hell, we always have our feelings being offended - that's a fact of life. If you've been living in an environment where people are so cautious with opinions and ideas as if living in glass houses, then don't venture outside. Stay home. But people are changing, kids are getting more rational and argumentative, they're becoming more educated and exposed to more ideas. Sooner, you could have a child like me, a bull in a china shop whose opinions and ideas you need to engage. And what will you do?

I live and let live. I only have one life to live and I want to use it to do something else - not to be a blueprint for some young people to emulate. I am not here to be somebody else's role model, much less my daughter's or my nephews' and nieces/. Role models are overrated icons. Young people don't need role models - they have to discover their own identity. What they need is just guidance. What they need is somebody to help them identify the options they have not to choose it for them.  This one could lead to self-sufficiency, this one could lead you towards mediocrity and that one could lead you some place I've never been. Just that - and let them choose.

Now, I understand that what I'm writing here have offended quite a few people, one way or another. If you are one of them and you really feel strongly about it, you can send me a reply and I will post it in this blog (anonymous if you want). But never blame the bull for breaking your china. Ideas and beliefs are not supposed to be like china - they should be more durable, more lasting than steel and bronze and must withstand the forces of reason. Otherwise, we will never know the truth.

Remembering Joel

Yesterday was my brother's birthday. He would have been 40 by now had he not died of a vehicular accident 11 year ago (25 July 2003) in Faridpur, Bangladesh.

The news dispatches I picked up from the internet during that time read as follows:

1. Source: Sify News (www.sify.com)
Seven killed in B'desh bus accident
Saturday, 26 July , 2003, 06:03
Dhaka: At least seven people, including a Filipino, were killed and 40 people hurt on Friday when a passenger bus crashed on a highway in southwestern Bangladesh, officials said. The overnight bus was heading to the capital Dhaka from the southwestern city of Khulna when it skidded into a ditch in the Faridpur district, said an official of the Sohag Paribahan transport company. He said one of the dead was a Filipino Muslim working in Bangladesh who had given his name as Jewel when he bought his bus ticket in Khulna.


2. Source: ABS-CBN (www.abs-cbnnews.com)
Saturday, July 26, 2003 8:32:20 p.m
Pinoy killed in Bangladesh bus accident
DHAKA -- At least seven people, including a Filipino, were killed and 40 people hurt
Friday when a passenger bus crashed on a highway in southwestern Bangladesh,
officials said.
The overnight bus was heading to the capital Dhaka from the southwestern city of
Khulna when it skidded into a ditch in Faripur district, said an official of the Sohag
Paribahan transport company.
He said one of the dead was a Filipino Muslim working in Bangladesh who had
given his name as Jewel when he bought his bus ticket in Khulna.


3. Source: inq7.net (The Philippine Daily Inquirer, website)
Filipino among seven killed in Bangladesh bus accident
Posted: 4:11 AM (Manila Time) | Jul. 26, 2003
Agence France-Presse
DHAKA -- A Filipino was among at least seven people who were killed while 40 others were hurt
Friday when a passenger bus crashed on a highway in southwestern Bangladesh, officials said.
The overnight bus was heading to the capital Dhaka from the southwestern city of Khulna when it
skidded into a ditch in the Faridpur district, said an official of the Sohag Paribahan transport
company. He said one of the dead was a Filipino Muslim working in Bangladesh, who had given his name as Jewel when he bought his bus ticket in Khulna.

Now, some clarifications. He's name is Joel - not Jewel and he's not a Muslim. So much for accurate reporting. I don't know why they have identified him as a Muslim but I can only guess. Bangladesh is a Muslim country and perhaps my brother, for convenience, simply identified himself as a Muslim. I would if I were him. I would even go to the extent of dressing like one.

It's an overnight bus so my brother was probably sleeping, like the other passengers when the accident happened. Other sources revealed that the bus careened of a roadside canal after trying to avoid a tricycle. My brother was probably thrown out of the window and was pinned down by the bus. His body showed no external injuries but the autopsy report indicated damage to internal organs.

He left behind a wife and a son, barely a year old who were preparing to leave and join him in Bangladesh when the accident happened. It was my first death in the family. Of course there were deaths of grandparents and close relatives - but nothing that close to me. Nothing that had impacted me so greatly.

Looking back, I realized that I was not able to spend enough time with my brother and now he's gone - forever. Yes there were those times that we spent, talking about work, aquaculture (his specialization) and other things but I feel, not enough to know him very well. I know he's the Mr. Nice Guy of the family - somebody who is always very careful not to offend the sensibilities of other people. He's the fun guy - somebody you want to be with. He's really good on social skills. He's my exact opposite. Me who doesn't give a hoot if somebody were offended by what I said (hey, grow up, deal with my views) as long as I believe it is par for the course. If an uncle or a relative is a slacker or an irresponsible parent  - I'll say it, something that Joel will never do.

I can say he was a very intelligent person. He would have gone higher in the corporate world. Although I was 2 years his senior, he was able to work and earn his own money much earlier than I did (I was suspended from college for 2 years and spend it working in my parents' fishpond). He had already graduated from college and had started working during those years when I was still dependent on our parents support. I ended up getting some books from him and listening to the kind of music tapes he bought. If there was somebody in the family who can really entertain me and discuss with me on various topics on philosophy, culture, biology, business, music and the art, it was him. If there was somebody who could possibly be capable of understanding my beliefs and philosophies back then, it was him. He was such a huge loss to me.

When my father died, I can say that I have done what I am supposed to do for him. I have said everything that I wanted to say to him. I have probably fulfilled 90% of my obligation as a son - and in our culture, that's a lot. But for Joel, I feel I only did less than 10% of what an elder brother is supposed to do. Even for the most barbaric culture, that's hardly enough. That's why until now, I grieved for his loss.

I have made lots of back then mistakes but I have no regrets I made them for I can no longer afford to make them now.  Actually, my greatest regrets in life are not for the things I did  - but for those I ought to do, have failed to do and can no longer do.

Joel Invento Luna
Born: 27 November 1971
Died: 25 July 2003
A good brother

Bangkayanon

24Nov2011. Yesterday, Mama called informing me that Tia Dome is done with her term in Bangkayanon and I could now take over as previously agreed with her. Here we go now, I smiled wryly and said to myself, another piece of responsibility you do not need which you have decided to assume for no commercial reason but your sentimentality.

Bangkayanon is what we called of that western part of my grandparents' fishpond (my mother's side) with an area of around 5 has. It has been with the Inventos long before I was born. I practically spent my entire childhood walking around that that area. It has my growing footsteps all over it - so to speak. I learned to swim there - by my own, sometimes  alone.  When I was small, I remembered looking for mudcrabs around it during the night with my uncle with a gas lantern we called Petromax. I remembered swimming it around midnight chasing somebody who was trying to steal some fish (I found his gill net the next day). It's a sweet piece of my childhood and I want to keep for the Inventos.

Here's my plan for this property:
1. Buy it from the heirs of my grandfather
2. Get a valid lease agreement with the gov't for 30 years.
3. Fence the perimeter
3. Build a fishpond on a selected portion of the area.
4. Build my house in the middle of it
5. Plant mangrove trees on the perimeter and part of the area and protect it (nipa, bakhawan, pagatpat, bungaw)

I envisioned Bangkayonon to become more like a wildlife sanctuary - home of the mayas, the tikarols, the lapays, the haw (monitor lizard). This I believe  is what Bangkayanon was before Lolo Pacio found it - a wildlife sanctuary. I will replant and rehabilitate its perimeter, guard and preserve it for the benefit of those who can appreciate nature. You can build a limited but profitable fishpond operation in this area and have a place for wildlife to thrive. The result would also benefit the fishpond operation by restoring mud for construction purposes and also attracting wild fries.

If this place will be left in the hands of the people in the nearby community, it will probably become a bare and barren mud flat in less than ten years. When I was there a couple of weeks ago, people freely cut the surrounding mangrove trees for forage and wood. This has happened to most "katunggan" (mangrove swamps) in the area.

I can think of many other ways to make a living more efficiently than operating a fishpond. Fishponds are a thing of the past - the future is mariculture (fish cages). I intend to take over Bangkayanon and operate a fishpond in it not for commercial reason but for something else - to preserve a place two generations of our clan call home and make it a home again for the wildlife who lived there before them. If that is not a cause worthy of my spare time and money, I don't know what else.

This is the satellite image of the Bangkayanon area:

It's just a part of a 20ha mangrove swamp occupied and cultivated by Lolo Pacio since the 1950's (below):

This is home.

Strong women

I grew up among strong and independent women.

From my grandmother Lola Kal-ing to my mother and her sisters, up to my own sisters (Manang and Ellen), all of them had jobs and are financially independent of their husbands until some of them choose to stay home to take care of the kids . Some were even breadwinners of their families. Except for my Lola Kal-ing (who was not allowed by her parents to go to school and simply learned to read and write on her own), all of them finished college and had careers as professionals in their chosen field.

Lola Kal-ing  is street smart (I wrote something in her epitaph and I really mean it). She ran the family business (fishpond) and was responsible for sending all her children (except the one who refused) to college. I hope someday a great grandchild will study her life and write it because it will be a great story and she deserves it.
Mama took her  sense of independence from Lola. As far back as I can remember, it was always my mother who took care of the domestic needs as well as my school-related expenses. My father was always out there - too busy with the countless business schemes that never took off. When I was just a kid, I would often wake in the early dawn because of their arguments mostly about the business ventures of my father. My mother is a very sensible woman and is more prudent on business matters. The problem is my father do not listen to her. I say, if only my father listened to half of what my mother had been telling him, they would have been very rich!

I always believe that women are more logical thinkers than men. Yes, they are generally more emotional and less aggressive in taking charge of things. But those who managed to overcome those weaknesses, always turned out very successful. I always admire successful women, especially those saddled with family life. The odds are stacked against them and society do not expect them to achieve heights higher than their husband's.

Problem with most women is that they still stick to the traditional belief that when they get married, their place is the house - taking care of kids. This is also fueled by the old-fashioned Filipino machismo of their fathers and husbands who often denigrate women to supporting roles. If that's the truth, then we might as well ban women from public colleges and universities because that would be a waste of public funds. Teach them child care and homemaking skills at high school and that should suffice for them!

That anachronistic view of being a supporting role to their husbands is what disadvantaged women in the workplace. If I am the business owner, would you blame me if I am a bit apprehensive in putting more responsibility to somebody who will probably quit her job anytime when her husband tells her to do so or when the demands of our culture forces her to "prioritize" her family over her job? I am not talking here of a few months maternity leave but of permanent dropping out of a career for family reasons. Indeed, that's something for  one to ponder before he promotes that performing lady to a demanding managerial position.

My mother managed to pursue graduate studies and became a school principal before she retired. That's some kind of achievement considering the many other concerns (business and domestic) she has to contend with while working. Yes, my mother is not the kind who will maintain a clean and well arranged sala and will not prepare a good well-balanced meal every day, like some households I went to. However, considering the workload she had and many tasks facing her every time she gets home, looking back I can understand. If only she had chosen or been lucky enough to have a more traditional (just their jobs!) kind of life, it would have been easier for all of us.

To succeed, a strong woman needs a stronger partner with a more mature outlook in life. Not necessarily the kind who has the resources to support her but just somebody who believes that she has the same right to excel in her profession as he in his. If she cannot find this person, I think she will be happier and more successful (though lonelier) without one. Nothing is so depressing as the sight of a strong and intelligent woman struggling and stunted under the burden of domestic responsibility. That is the lesson I learned from the strong women I knew.

And this is something that I wish my daughter will, someday, come to ponder seriously.

Let justice be done...

Fiat justitia, ruat caelum (Let justice be done though the heavens fall).

To me what sets a man apart from the rest of the animal kingdom is his need for justice. If you're somebody who can still remain cold and apathetic when an injustice was being done to your neighbor, then you are not human. Your place is with the chickens and goats who would hardly show any misgivings to the farmer when one of them was being led to slaughter.

People demanding and crying for justice are all too common. The problem is, justice is not something that can be handed to anybody in a silver platter. Even if you are a very influential person, you will still have to go through the legal process before you will be given the "pound of flesh" you are demanding from whoever owed it to you. You will still have to be absent from work to attend the hearings, motivate your witness and the public prosecutor behind it and yes, spend some money to help speed up the process.

The quest for justice is not only expensive  - it is also tedious, stressful and sometimes frustrating. All too often, those who have been initially screaming for justice will soon become silent, discouraged, disillusioned and frustrated once they realized the resources (time, money and energy) required from them as complainants/petitioners. The lazy and the unprincipled people will simply say: "Let's just hand it to God. God will deliver justice sooner or later (From the Tagalogs: Ipagpasa dyos na lang natin. Dyos na ang bahala sa kanila).  And as they say in our place, "Gabaan ra na!".

I don't believe God is very much interested in justice. Yes, there were some areas in the Old Testament where rudimentary comments of justice were offered (An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth). But Jesus never encouraged the practice of justice in his sermons. In fact, Jesus, it seems to me is anti-justice: "When somebody strikes you in the right check, turn the other also. When somebody forces you to walk one mile..., etc.". Does that mean, Mr. Jesus, that when somebody raped your wife, you will offer him your daughter to be raped also? Oh, I see you are limiting it only to cheeks and walking and the very mundane stuff, don't you? But you see, Mr. JC, the pronouncements in law and justice must necessarily extend to the the whole gamut of human intercourse. It's like math, if 1 + 1 = 2, then 1 Billion + 1 Billion must be 2 Billion, right? It can't be otherwise just because the magnitude is different. Truth or  justice is absolute in scale - it applies to all, otherwise none at all!  So much for your divine justice.

 If you want to get justice, you have to do your fair share.  You just can't leave the prosecution efforts to God or the fiscal/state. Our justice system do not work that way - this is not the USA!

Some people may think that the time and money I spent in supporting cases concerning employees or relatives are wasted when we can just get around with the free services of the fiscal or if you are the defendant, the public attorneys office. Well, I might as well say that the money I spent on the purchase of my vehicles are being wasted. I can live by simply walking or riding on a jeep or taxi - but not without the justice I, or somebody close to me, deserve.

Give me justice or give me death! I forgot who said that, but that is closer to my personal sentiments.

On being a parent

Three things I do not believe in: fortune (luck), fate and destiny. Outright, I'll say fortune (luck) is plain, unadulterated bullshit. Luck is  the common refuge of the dull and lazy people. Now as to the rest, because I have noticed some serious people are using them,  I will try to explain.

Nothing is certain or predestined. Even the apparently certain events for tomorrow (Will you be in the office by 8am? Will you be able to submit that report already in your briefcase? Will you be on that scheduled 10am meeting with the client?) are still riding on the rolling dice of probability. What will happen to a person in the course of his life (will he be a sucess or failure?) cannot be predicted with the absolute accuracy as implied by the concept of fate and destiny. It cannot be predicted but it can be influenced. And there are only two factors that influence a person's direction in life - nature and nurture. Both are provided by the parent. 

Nature is the genetic part - 100% of the physical characteristic of a child comes from the parents. That's basic biology and we will have no argument on that. The nurture part is what the parent (I will just be singular for the sake of simplicity) provides or fails to provide. It is the sum of all the interactions and things he gave or did not give to his child, things that he left behind or did not leave to the child after the parent dies. And of course, nurture includes also the lessons the parent taught or did not taught to his child. This huge influence makes parenthood the most important task in the world and I am determined to be a good parent for my child.

Some parents tend to treat the life of their children as the extension of their life. To me, that's plain caveman mentality - instinctive, but primitive. Whatever happens to the concept of individualism and the ideas of the enlightened minds who lived before us? Many parents want their children to succeed where they have failed, to continue what they have not finished, to carry on what they have started, to build from their success. Understandable, but hardly fair to the child who, being a different individual, might be inclined towards something different.

I have my fair share of frustrations, failures and successes and I can deal with them in my own lifetime without giving the burden of continuity to my child. My child need not be a businessman just because I left behind a business when I die. She need not be a farmer just because I will be leaving behind a farm.

She can be whatever she wanted to be as long as she is happy with the vocation that she will choose. If being a doctor will make her happy, let her become a doctor. If she wanted to be a nun, let her become a nun. If all she wanted is just to be a caring housewife taking care of the house and kids, by all means let her become one. All I can ask from her is to strive to be the best doctor, or the best nun, or the best housewife in the world!

My only obligation to her? To provide her with the right education and everything within my capacity to help her be the best in whatever endeavor she will choose, and to love her as only a father could. And if my child will choose to follow the path I have taken, it will be a most pleasant surprise.