Three things I do not believe in: fortune (luck), fate and destiny. Outright, I'll say fortune (luck) is plain, unadulterated bullshit. Luck is the common refuge of the dull and lazy people. Now as to the rest, because I have noticed some serious people are using them, I will try to explain.
Nothing is certain or predestined. Even the apparently certain events for tomorrow (Will you be in the office by 8am? Will you be able to submit that report already in your briefcase? Will you be on that scheduled 10am meeting with the client?) are still riding on the rolling dice of probability. What will happen to a person in the course of his life (will he be a sucess or failure?) cannot be predicted with the absolute accuracy as implied by the concept of fate and destiny. It cannot be predicted but it can be influenced. And there are only two factors that influence a person's direction in life - nature and nurture. Both are provided by the parent.
Nature is the genetic part - 100% of the physical characteristic of a child comes from the parents. That's basic biology and we will have no argument on that. The nurture part is what the parent (I will just be singular for the sake of simplicity) provides or fails to provide. It is the sum of all the interactions and things he gave or did not give to his child, things that he left behind or did not leave to the child after the parent dies. And of course, nurture includes also the lessons the parent taught or did not taught to his child. This huge influence makes parenthood the most important task in the world and I am determined to be a good parent for my child.
Some parents tend to treat the life of their children as the extension of their life. To me, that's plain caveman mentality - instinctive, but primitive. Whatever happens to the concept of individualism and the ideas of the enlightened minds who lived before us? Many parents want their children to succeed where they have failed, to continue what they have not finished, to carry on what they have started, to build from their success. Understandable, but hardly fair to the child who, being a different individual, might be inclined towards something different.
I have my fair share of frustrations, failures and successes and I can deal with them in my own lifetime without giving the burden of continuity to my child. My child need not be a businessman just because I left behind a business when I die. She need not be a farmer just because I will be leaving behind a farm.
She can be whatever she wanted to be as long as she is happy with the vocation that she will choose. If being a doctor will make her happy, let her become a doctor. If she wanted to be a nun, let her become a nun. If all she wanted is just to be a caring housewife taking care of the house and kids, by all means let her become one. All I can ask from her is to strive to be the best doctor, or the best nun, or the best housewife in the world!
My only obligation to her? To provide her with the right education and everything within my capacity to help her be the best in whatever endeavor she will choose, and to love her as only a father could. And if my child will choose to follow the path I have taken, it will be a most pleasant surprise.
