Remembering Joel

Yesterday was my brother's birthday. He would have been 40 by now had he not died of a vehicular accident 11 year ago (25 July 2003) in Faridpur, Bangladesh.

The news dispatches I picked up from the internet during that time read as follows:

1. Source: Sify News (www.sify.com)
Seven killed in B'desh bus accident
Saturday, 26 July , 2003, 06:03
Dhaka: At least seven people, including a Filipino, were killed and 40 people hurt on Friday when a passenger bus crashed on a highway in southwestern Bangladesh, officials said. The overnight bus was heading to the capital Dhaka from the southwestern city of Khulna when it skidded into a ditch in the Faridpur district, said an official of the Sohag Paribahan transport company. He said one of the dead was a Filipino Muslim working in Bangladesh who had given his name as Jewel when he bought his bus ticket in Khulna.


2. Source: ABS-CBN (www.abs-cbnnews.com)
Saturday, July 26, 2003 8:32:20 p.m
Pinoy killed in Bangladesh bus accident
DHAKA -- At least seven people, including a Filipino, were killed and 40 people hurt
Friday when a passenger bus crashed on a highway in southwestern Bangladesh,
officials said.
The overnight bus was heading to the capital Dhaka from the southwestern city of
Khulna when it skidded into a ditch in Faripur district, said an official of the Sohag
Paribahan transport company.
He said one of the dead was a Filipino Muslim working in Bangladesh who had
given his name as Jewel when he bought his bus ticket in Khulna.


3. Source: inq7.net (The Philippine Daily Inquirer, website)
Filipino among seven killed in Bangladesh bus accident
Posted: 4:11 AM (Manila Time) | Jul. 26, 2003
Agence France-Presse
DHAKA -- A Filipino was among at least seven people who were killed while 40 others were hurt
Friday when a passenger bus crashed on a highway in southwestern Bangladesh, officials said.
The overnight bus was heading to the capital Dhaka from the southwestern city of Khulna when it
skidded into a ditch in the Faridpur district, said an official of the Sohag Paribahan transport
company. He said one of the dead was a Filipino Muslim working in Bangladesh, who had given his name as Jewel when he bought his bus ticket in Khulna.

Now, some clarifications. He's name is Joel - not Jewel and he's not a Muslim. So much for accurate reporting. I don't know why they have identified him as a Muslim but I can only guess. Bangladesh is a Muslim country and perhaps my brother, for convenience, simply identified himself as a Muslim. I would if I were him. I would even go to the extent of dressing like one.

It's an overnight bus so my brother was probably sleeping, like the other passengers when the accident happened. Other sources revealed that the bus careened of a roadside canal after trying to avoid a tricycle. My brother was probably thrown out of the window and was pinned down by the bus. His body showed no external injuries but the autopsy report indicated damage to internal organs.

He left behind a wife and a son, barely a year old who were preparing to leave and join him in Bangladesh when the accident happened. It was my first death in the family. Of course there were deaths of grandparents and close relatives - but nothing that close to me. Nothing that had impacted me so greatly.

Looking back, I realized that I was not able to spend enough time with my brother and now he's gone - forever. Yes there were those times that we spent, talking about work, aquaculture (his specialization) and other things but I feel, not enough to know him very well. I know he's the Mr. Nice Guy of the family - somebody who is always very careful not to offend the sensibilities of other people. He's the fun guy - somebody you want to be with. He's really good on social skills. He's my exact opposite. Me who doesn't give a hoot if somebody were offended by what I said (hey, grow up, deal with my views) as long as I believe it is par for the course. If an uncle or a relative is a slacker or an irresponsible parent  - I'll say it, something that Joel will never do.

I can say he was a very intelligent person. He would have gone higher in the corporate world. Although I was 2 years his senior, he was able to work and earn his own money much earlier than I did (I was suspended from college for 2 years and spend it working in my parents' fishpond). He had already graduated from college and had started working during those years when I was still dependent on our parents support. I ended up getting some books from him and listening to the kind of music tapes he bought. If there was somebody in the family who can really entertain me and discuss with me on various topics on philosophy, culture, biology, business, music and the art, it was him. If there was somebody who could possibly be capable of understanding my beliefs and philosophies back then, it was him. He was such a huge loss to me.

When my father died, I can say that I have done what I am supposed to do for him. I have said everything that I wanted to say to him. I have probably fulfilled 90% of my obligation as a son - and in our culture, that's a lot. But for Joel, I feel I only did less than 10% of what an elder brother is supposed to do. Even for the most barbaric culture, that's hardly enough. That's why until now, I grieved for his loss.

I have made lots of back then mistakes but I have no regrets I made them for I can no longer afford to make them now.  Actually, my greatest regrets in life are not for the things I did  - but for those I ought to do, have failed to do and can no longer do.

Joel Invento Luna
Born: 27 November 1971
Died: 25 July 2003
A good brother

Bangkayanon

24Nov2011. Yesterday, Mama called informing me that Tia Dome is done with her term in Bangkayanon and I could now take over as previously agreed with her. Here we go now, I smiled wryly and said to myself, another piece of responsibility you do not need which you have decided to assume for no commercial reason but your sentimentality.

Bangkayanon is what we called of that western part of my grandparents' fishpond (my mother's side) with an area of around 5 has. It has been with the Inventos long before I was born. I practically spent my entire childhood walking around that that area. It has my growing footsteps all over it - so to speak. I learned to swim there - by my own, sometimes  alone.  When I was small, I remembered looking for mudcrabs around it during the night with my uncle with a gas lantern we called Petromax. I remembered swimming it around midnight chasing somebody who was trying to steal some fish (I found his gill net the next day). It's a sweet piece of my childhood and I want to keep for the Inventos.

Here's my plan for this property:
1. Buy it from the heirs of my grandfather
2. Get a valid lease agreement with the gov't for 30 years.
3. Fence the perimeter
3. Build a fishpond on a selected portion of the area.
4. Build my house in the middle of it
5. Plant mangrove trees on the perimeter and part of the area and protect it (nipa, bakhawan, pagatpat, bungaw)

I envisioned Bangkayonon to become more like a wildlife sanctuary - home of the mayas, the tikarols, the lapays, the haw (monitor lizard). This I believe  is what Bangkayanon was before Lolo Pacio found it - a wildlife sanctuary. I will replant and rehabilitate its perimeter, guard and preserve it for the benefit of those who can appreciate nature. You can build a limited but profitable fishpond operation in this area and have a place for wildlife to thrive. The result would also benefit the fishpond operation by restoring mud for construction purposes and also attracting wild fries.

If this place will be left in the hands of the people in the nearby community, it will probably become a bare and barren mud flat in less than ten years. When I was there a couple of weeks ago, people freely cut the surrounding mangrove trees for forage and wood. This has happened to most "katunggan" (mangrove swamps) in the area.

I can think of many other ways to make a living more efficiently than operating a fishpond. Fishponds are a thing of the past - the future is mariculture (fish cages). I intend to take over Bangkayanon and operate a fishpond in it not for commercial reason but for something else - to preserve a place two generations of our clan call home and make it a home again for the wildlife who lived there before them. If that is not a cause worthy of my spare time and money, I don't know what else.

This is the satellite image of the Bangkayanon area:

It's just a part of a 20ha mangrove swamp occupied and cultivated by Lolo Pacio since the 1950's (below):

This is home.

Strong women

I grew up among strong and independent women.

From my grandmother Lola Kal-ing to my mother and her sisters, up to my own sisters (Manang and Ellen), all of them had jobs and are financially independent of their husbands until some of them choose to stay home to take care of the kids . Some were even breadwinners of their families. Except for my Lola Kal-ing (who was not allowed by her parents to go to school and simply learned to read and write on her own), all of them finished college and had careers as professionals in their chosen field.

Lola Kal-ing  is street smart (I wrote something in her epitaph and I really mean it). She ran the family business (fishpond) and was responsible for sending all her children (except the one who refused) to college. I hope someday a great grandchild will study her life and write it because it will be a great story and she deserves it.
Mama took her  sense of independence from Lola. As far back as I can remember, it was always my mother who took care of the domestic needs as well as my school-related expenses. My father was always out there - too busy with the countless business schemes that never took off. When I was just a kid, I would often wake in the early dawn because of their arguments mostly about the business ventures of my father. My mother is a very sensible woman and is more prudent on business matters. The problem is my father do not listen to her. I say, if only my father listened to half of what my mother had been telling him, they would have been very rich!

I always believe that women are more logical thinkers than men. Yes, they are generally more emotional and less aggressive in taking charge of things. But those who managed to overcome those weaknesses, always turned out very successful. I always admire successful women, especially those saddled with family life. The odds are stacked against them and society do not expect them to achieve heights higher than their husband's.

Problem with most women is that they still stick to the traditional belief that when they get married, their place is the house - taking care of kids. This is also fueled by the old-fashioned Filipino machismo of their fathers and husbands who often denigrate women to supporting roles. If that's the truth, then we might as well ban women from public colleges and universities because that would be a waste of public funds. Teach them child care and homemaking skills at high school and that should suffice for them!

That anachronistic view of being a supporting role to their husbands is what disadvantaged women in the workplace. If I am the business owner, would you blame me if I am a bit apprehensive in putting more responsibility to somebody who will probably quit her job anytime when her husband tells her to do so or when the demands of our culture forces her to "prioritize" her family over her job? I am not talking here of a few months maternity leave but of permanent dropping out of a career for family reasons. Indeed, that's something for  one to ponder before he promotes that performing lady to a demanding managerial position.

My mother managed to pursue graduate studies and became a school principal before she retired. That's some kind of achievement considering the many other concerns (business and domestic) she has to contend with while working. Yes, my mother is not the kind who will maintain a clean and well arranged sala and will not prepare a good well-balanced meal every day, like some households I went to. However, considering the workload she had and many tasks facing her every time she gets home, looking back I can understand. If only she had chosen or been lucky enough to have a more traditional (just their jobs!) kind of life, it would have been easier for all of us.

To succeed, a strong woman needs a stronger partner with a more mature outlook in life. Not necessarily the kind who has the resources to support her but just somebody who believes that she has the same right to excel in her profession as he in his. If she cannot find this person, I think she will be happier and more successful (though lonelier) without one. Nothing is so depressing as the sight of a strong and intelligent woman struggling and stunted under the burden of domestic responsibility. That is the lesson I learned from the strong women I knew.

And this is something that I wish my daughter will, someday, come to ponder seriously.

Let justice be done...

Fiat justitia, ruat caelum (Let justice be done though the heavens fall).

To me what sets a man apart from the rest of the animal kingdom is his need for justice. If you're somebody who can still remain cold and apathetic when an injustice was being done to your neighbor, then you are not human. Your place is with the chickens and goats who would hardly show any misgivings to the farmer when one of them was being led to slaughter.

People demanding and crying for justice are all too common. The problem is, justice is not something that can be handed to anybody in a silver platter. Even if you are a very influential person, you will still have to go through the legal process before you will be given the "pound of flesh" you are demanding from whoever owed it to you. You will still have to be absent from work to attend the hearings, motivate your witness and the public prosecutor behind it and yes, spend some money to help speed up the process.

The quest for justice is not only expensive  - it is also tedious, stressful and sometimes frustrating. All too often, those who have been initially screaming for justice will soon become silent, discouraged, disillusioned and frustrated once they realized the resources (time, money and energy) required from them as complainants/petitioners. The lazy and the unprincipled people will simply say: "Let's just hand it to God. God will deliver justice sooner or later (From the Tagalogs: Ipagpasa dyos na lang natin. Dyos na ang bahala sa kanila).  And as they say in our place, "Gabaan ra na!".

I don't believe God is very much interested in justice. Yes, there were some areas in the Old Testament where rudimentary comments of justice were offered (An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth). But Jesus never encouraged the practice of justice in his sermons. In fact, Jesus, it seems to me is anti-justice: "When somebody strikes you in the right check, turn the other also. When somebody forces you to walk one mile..., etc.". Does that mean, Mr. Jesus, that when somebody raped your wife, you will offer him your daughter to be raped also? Oh, I see you are limiting it only to cheeks and walking and the very mundane stuff, don't you? But you see, Mr. JC, the pronouncements in law and justice must necessarily extend to the the whole gamut of human intercourse. It's like math, if 1 + 1 = 2, then 1 Billion + 1 Billion must be 2 Billion, right? It can't be otherwise just because the magnitude is different. Truth or  justice is absolute in scale - it applies to all, otherwise none at all!  So much for your divine justice.

 If you want to get justice, you have to do your fair share.  You just can't leave the prosecution efforts to God or the fiscal/state. Our justice system do not work that way - this is not the USA!

Some people may think that the time and money I spent in supporting cases concerning employees or relatives are wasted when we can just get around with the free services of the fiscal or if you are the defendant, the public attorneys office. Well, I might as well say that the money I spent on the purchase of my vehicles are being wasted. I can live by simply walking or riding on a jeep or taxi - but not without the justice I, or somebody close to me, deserve.

Give me justice or give me death! I forgot who said that, but that is closer to my personal sentiments.

On being a parent

Three things I do not believe in: fortune (luck), fate and destiny. Outright, I'll say fortune (luck) is plain, unadulterated bullshit. Luck is  the common refuge of the dull and lazy people. Now as to the rest, because I have noticed some serious people are using them,  I will try to explain.

Nothing is certain or predestined. Even the apparently certain events for tomorrow (Will you be in the office by 8am? Will you be able to submit that report already in your briefcase? Will you be on that scheduled 10am meeting with the client?) are still riding on the rolling dice of probability. What will happen to a person in the course of his life (will he be a sucess or failure?) cannot be predicted with the absolute accuracy as implied by the concept of fate and destiny. It cannot be predicted but it can be influenced. And there are only two factors that influence a person's direction in life - nature and nurture. Both are provided by the parent. 

Nature is the genetic part - 100% of the physical characteristic of a child comes from the parents. That's basic biology and we will have no argument on that. The nurture part is what the parent (I will just be singular for the sake of simplicity) provides or fails to provide. It is the sum of all the interactions and things he gave or did not give to his child, things that he left behind or did not leave to the child after the parent dies. And of course, nurture includes also the lessons the parent taught or did not taught to his child. This huge influence makes parenthood the most important task in the world and I am determined to be a good parent for my child.

Some parents tend to treat the life of their children as the extension of their life. To me, that's plain caveman mentality - instinctive, but primitive. Whatever happens to the concept of individualism and the ideas of the enlightened minds who lived before us? Many parents want their children to succeed where they have failed, to continue what they have not finished, to carry on what they have started, to build from their success. Understandable, but hardly fair to the child who, being a different individual, might be inclined towards something different.

I have my fair share of frustrations, failures and successes and I can deal with them in my own lifetime without giving the burden of continuity to my child. My child need not be a businessman just because I left behind a business when I die. She need not be a farmer just because I will be leaving behind a farm.

She can be whatever she wanted to be as long as she is happy with the vocation that she will choose. If being a doctor will make her happy, let her become a doctor. If she wanted to be a nun, let her become a nun. If all she wanted is just to be a caring housewife taking care of the house and kids, by all means let her become one. All I can ask from her is to strive to be the best doctor, or the best nun, or the best housewife in the world!

My only obligation to her? To provide her with the right education and everything within my capacity to help her be the best in whatever endeavor she will choose, and to love her as only a father could. And if my child will choose to follow the path I have taken, it will be a most pleasant surprise.

Farming

Some people venture into farming as a recreation.

Others go into farming after retiring from their jobs and wanted a kind of slow-paced activity less demanding than the job/s they were used to.

Most think farming as a low-tech job which demands less education and skills from the owner or manager.

Nothing can be farther from the truth.

You need not be an agriculturist to appreciate the intricacies and the economics behind farming. Yes, everybody can farm if you call throwing a seed to the ground, covering it, watering the crops, weeding, harvesting, etc., farming.

But the question is can you make enough money from farming in a sustainable way?

If you go to developed farming communities like those in Israel, US or Europe, you will realize what farming is all about. The farmers in there makes more money than a city employee and are probably one of the richest in their community. 

The only way to make a farming operation sustainable and competitive vis-a-vis competitors abroad is to apply the latest in agri technology. Even under a low-labor cost setting, the use of technology could still be more profitable since machines are more reliable and efficient and more reliable than humans in many aspects of farming. Farming is a non-stop factory. There is no main switch to shut down the photosysthetic activities of the crop or the metabolism of the farm animals in the event of labor problems or financial difficulties. That's why 24/7, you need to monitor many activities in the farm and make sure that what's to be done are always being done.

There are many aspects of farming that can be more economically and efficiently done my automatically operated equipment like feeders and irrigation systems. I am not saying this because I an agricultural engineer. I have tried farming and am fully convinced that mechanization is the only way to do things more efficiently - from feeding the goats to watering the crops.

A farmer has to be an engineer, a biologist, a chemist, a marketer and an economist rolled into one. From constructing the farm facilities, managing labor, conditioning the soil, up to the point where you need to sell your yield profitably - that require a vast multi-disciplinary set of knowledge and skills. It's not a part time job either. And neither is it for people who have no capital for the cost of the initial investments.

Thus, I need to save first a lot of money to develop my farm. And when I start to develop it, I have to be staying there 24/7 to ensure the suceess of the operation. That, I believe is the only way to suceed in farming,

Religion

I am not a religious person.
No, I am not an atheist. I am an agnostic.

Common sense dictates that since the universe is infinitesimally large, there is no way for anybody to prove that God does not exist! It is entirely possible that a supremely powerful entity is silently lurking out there - billions and billions of lightyears away from us. There's no way for anybody to dispute that possibility since our capacity to observe does not extend that far. Just because that hypothetical entity/being is not engaging us or does not manifest his existence to us, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
This belief might come as a surprise (and understandably, distressing) to my family, especially to Mama who taught me to be religious since I learned how to kneel in the altar. Back during the early years when my mother was still a devout Catholic, I was her unofficial "mananabtan".  I remember those times when it was only the two of us praying the rosaries and the "novena" of many saints - San Vicente (my patron saint), Birhen sa Regla, Sto. Nino, etc. I can still remember those times when I slept slumped on my knees while praying and Mama has to continue the prayer on her own.

I became a Protestant long before Mama converted to it. I wasn't converted by anyone, nor "witnessed" by a "born again" evangelist. I just realized gradually realized that some of the Catholic rituals and beliefs just doesn't make sense. Reason, even on my early teens was beginning to have some influential.
When I left home for college, I was naturally attracted to a "born again" group called "Lakas Angkan". That was the time when I began to read the bible seriously  - Genesis to Revelation. I attended countless meetings and seminars by this group.
I don't know what happened but I began distance from that religious group on my 2nd year in college. Maybe it was my fraternity or probably my girlfriend that occupied my spare time. But I soon found those religious people extremely boring. Against my jolly brods and sis and my girlfriend, the religious group did not stand a chance.
And then the days of my "Barracks Boys" group came and I officially became what they call a "backslider". The transformation was complete - from an innocent, scholarly, religious freshman to the alleged leader of the campus "bugoys".
People who knew me since I was a freshman, might be left wondering - what happened to this guy? Well, if they felt that way, how much more those who knew me since I was a "mananabtan" kid - my mother and relatives especially? I have metamorphosed from a beautiful butterfly to a despicable bug!
But the superficial anti-social behavior, which was the only readily observable change, was nothing compared to what's going on inside my mind. It was often said that ViSCA (our campus), with its idyllic setting, is highly conducive to learning. But I say, the ViSCA library is a reader's haven and the lonely walk from the library to my dormitory, and the peaceful beach is a thinker's paradise. That was indeed an intellectually formative period for me, no doubt about that.

Charles Darwin once said, "Disbelief came over me at a very slow rate but was at last complete. The rate was so slow that I felt no distress."
Mine was not as gently as Mr. Darwin's. My path towards disbelief was strewn with conflicting ideas, crude reasoning, frustration and tragedy. The frustrations were many but the tragedy is one - the death of my brother.
When my brother died, I told God  something like this: "You're such an idiot, God. Here I am, with a huge potential to convince many people to stop believing you, a quarrelsome person who will pick a fight with anybody, risk-loving, heavy smoker, drunk driver, with anti-social tendencies, kind of an asshole to many and you did not see it fit to let me die early. Now here's this person, with a family entirely dependent on him, fun-loving, harmless, very amiable, far more religious than me, yet you have allowed him to die for no reason at all. Where's your infinite wisdom? You eliminate your enemies - not your friends, moron! Now here's the deal, since I cannot live peacefully thinking how idiotic you are, it would be more practical to assume that you, Mr. God does not exist and that, sir, would explain everything. Blind chance was the reason!"
I became an atheist.

As the years passed by, reason made some refinements and  reinforcements to my beliefs and I realized that, as explained in my first paragraphs, the proposition that said "God exists" and the one that said "God does not exist" are both intellectually dishonest. There is no way for anybody to prove the existence or in-existence of God. Agnosticism is the correct path.

Note: Everything I wrote in this blog, I intend for public consumption. If you do not agree with what I'm saying here and are distressed by it, I'll say grow up and deal with it. I am a businessman - not a politician. And Philippines is not yet an Islamic country.
However, I will truly appreciate if you will not tell my mother what is being written here  - especially in this particular article about religion. Thanks. :)

If you wish for peace

 "Si vis pacem, para bellum." (If you wish for peace, prepare for war)
                                  - Publius Flavius Vegetius Renatus (De Re Militari)


During the Cold War, before the fall of the Soviet Union, the superpowers of the world were stockpiling nuclear weapons that were more than enough to destroy all the cities in the world. Not one of them, not a single warhead was ever used to attack anyone. Most of them are now gone - dismantled, destroyed. Billions of dollars and countless man-hours of research, manufacturing and operation were spent on them but none was ever used. Were those resources spent on nothing?


What would have happened it there were no nuclear weapons back then? Answer: World War III. The only thing that prevented each country from attacking another is the reality that the losing party will be forced to use its nuclear weapons. Once the first nuclear missiles are launched, retaliation is guaranteed and the result is what they call "assured mutual destruction". That's what kept the peace of the world.


The philosophy holds true even on a village level. On the areas around the Mal River (Dongan Pekong, Savoy, Saub, etc.), the victims of violent criminal attacks often were those who do not have the means to defend themselves or to capacity to exact vengeance against the offending parties. Fairness and sense of justice become liabilities -  law of the jungle reigns supreme. People are not concerened when a Bisaya is killed because those people are too good to exact vengeance - they prefer the rule of law. Often, they will just leave rather than face the possibility of having another member of the family become the next victim. It happened to that barangay official who was murdered this year while working on his field. His house at the center of the barangay is now abandoned. 


But when a B'laan dies, even if it was just for a natural cause, people all over the nearby community tremble in fear of an impending "pangayaw". Only a few ventures outside during the night. Whatever happens to pride? Can one just allow somebody intimidate or threaten him for no reason at all? Is your life so dear to you that you will just allow some ignorant and misguided individuals dictate how you spend your day or night? 


How can one address this issue? If you are living is such a community you can either:
    1. Leave it and find a more secured community.
    2. Swallow your pride and do what others are doing - cower in fear.
    3. Stand your ground and do what you think is right.


I choose the last.


I'm not a big fan of Ninoy Aquino (I still think Marcos is the better leader, and if I have to pick a hero, it will be and always be the intellectual Rizal). But there is one thing that Ninoy said that I cannot and will not forget: "I'd rather fall cold in the ground than stand with my bended knees". To me, limiting my nigh time activity around my farm just because some idiots want to have somebody to accompany their relative to the hereafter is like bending my knees and bowing down to their cowardly ignorance. 


Now, if the idea of "assured mutual destruction" worked for the Russians and the Americans, I think it could work for me and the people who might want to hurt me or the workers in the farm. If fear is the accepted currency of the place, I might as well try to exploit it to my advantage. Thus I realized that I need to invest on arms - the bigger the better. Not just  the "pangporma" kind that where some city folks used in competitive shooting. I need the kind that will make a group of bandits armed with long arms think twice before deciding to visit me. 


Assured mutual destruction. You can get me but I will surely be able to get at least one of you. Not a comforting thought to anybody who, for all we know, only wanted to scare me off or worse, just to have fun with one of my goats. 


All I want is to sleep peacefully in my farm during a weekend break - that's why there's a pistol under my pillow, an M4 with a night vision scope beside my bed and a 0.308 sniper rifle tucked somewhere else. That way, I don't have to count sheep (err, goats). :)


"The poignant wish for a tranquil life will find no sanctuary in today's world"
            - Ferdinand E. Marcos (Revolution from the Center)